中年新起点：佛教仪式与准提法的重生智慧

英文原文

"New Beginnings--Let Go and Begin, Again and Again" by Yingzhao Liu

Happy 2019! In the first month of the year, I'd like to talk a little about New Beginnings. As mindfulness practitioners, we know that it is a practice of renewing one's awareness, again and again. When one first wakes up in the morning and opens one’s eyes, there’s a moment: there is the sensation of having sight, before the content of what’s seen is registered, before the sense of self coalesces again... In that moment there can be a simple and deep pleasure of having this sense perception, an appreciation of being alive. One can experience this new beginning frequently in meditation, a practice of renewing one's practice, in the moment, as losing concentration is the nature of our practice. In life as well--we will lose our grounding countless times, and if we're committed to practice, we simply begin again, and again.

At this time, there is a lot of turmoil globally, and many problems seem intractable. Our individual worlds can seem complex and chaotic. As Einstein has said wisely, no problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that have created it. Individually and collectively, how can we remain optimistic, and be able to begin again and again?

I’m lucky to have a Native American practice in addition to a Buddhist practice, where there is ritual, a strong sense of community, and earth-based medicine. I'd like to explain the Native American medicine wheel as one framework for New Beginnings... The framework is a cycle of four elements, such as four seasons, four directions, and interestingly, New Beginnings is not the first but the third stage.

To explain in a little detail—the medicine wheel symbolizes the natural progression of all things, including the human journey. It starts at the West direction, where health and help are needed as we do in the beginning of life; going clockwise to the North, where one needs courage and guidance to go through challenges in one’s youth; then the East, with New Beginnings, a renewal and reenergizing symbolized by the rising sun; and lastly the South, with purity of heart, characterized by love and generosity, where we will hopefully arrive at in old age. This cycle happens both at macro and micro levels, over and over again, and gives us a larger perspective than the challenges and rewards of each particular part of the cycle.

A key practice for Native Americans is the sweat lodge, which is akin to the womb. In a natural structure close to the ground, hot rocks are brought into a pit inside the structure, and water is poured on the rocks creating steam. Men and women sit in a circle in this ceremony, praying and singing, to be purified and to be with the Great Spirit. When one comes out of the lodge, it feels like one is emerging from the womb, being reborn. Coming into the open air, where the sacred fire is still burning, I have wondered who, or what, is peering from behind these eye holes. The native folks would say, it’s the Great Spirit looking through you. In Buddhism we say Buddha nature, and in other traditions we say God, eternity, universal consciousness, etc. No matter what words we use, it points to a sense of a deep connection, belonging, and a great new beginning.

Not long ago I gave birth to my first child. In my pregnancy and these first weeks with the baby, I have wondered where consciousness comes from. Many cultures consider the first movements of the baby in utero to be indication that consciousness, or soul, has come to it. Despite the wonders of modern medicine, we can’t, and won’t be able to, explain where consciousness comes from. It is one of those things that the intellectual mind, in its desire to understand and explain, could never reach the depth and directness of experience.

To want to comprehend, intellectually, requires an assumption of cause and effect. This comes from the scientific method in Western thought. Cause and effect for sure is true at that level, however, it’s just a particular level. It’s a necessary narrowing of focus. If we widen the focus, it took everything, all the way back to the big bang, to bring each thing into being. Cause and effect are not the final word. In mindful awareness, you see that thoughts come on their own, and can have a chain effect, but thoughts do not come from any dependable cause.

Life is like a string of beads, except there’s no string. When you look to the past, the sequence of all the moments, all the beads, makes it seem like there is a string, something connecting each bead to the next. However in this and every moment, a bead appears, out of emptiness, and not separate from emptiness. Life just appears moment after moment like that. Things never turn out quite how we thought they would, right? Life is always new, always fresh. There’s no predetermined bead on a string, waiting for us to come to it.

I’m learning so much from my baby. The beginning of life is full of frustrations, yet a baby does not lose the motivation to keep trying, does not become afraid of future failures. Fully alive, they simply begin again and again, open to all possibilities. This is the life force in action, which reminded me of an insight that came, when I was having a hard time in my first trimester: “Life is just lived from moment to moment, and it all comes from love.” It will take me a lifetime to live this, to real-ize this. I’m committed to doing so.

Situations happen—for example, disagreement arises in a work meeting, tension quickly follows—people seem to be at an impasse. I have no idea what the solution can be but I’ve learned to trust my actions. I lean in, offer the beginning of a suggestion, or a recognition of what’s happening, or maybe some kindness. Most of the time someone else will then offer something, and the group will start to shift as we respond to each other. In the middle of everything, a “knowing” comes, not a solution, but a way of navigating the territory.

I’ve seen in my Native American practice--sometimes everyone in a big ceremony are so connected, that they move in unison, with so much care and helpfulness. Everyone is filled to the brim with feeling, and give their all to support others, even when that effort is not visible to those benefiting... Cause and effect fades and there’s only intention: love.

These experiences help me know, in a deep way, what is possible. We’re often taught, explicitly or implicitly, to be good to others so that others will be good to us, and we can reap the benefits of our actions. This is cause and effect thinking. There’s not enough emphasis on another way to see it: we do good because we are good. We come from love. There’s this short poem from Linda Hogan, a Native American writer:

"Walking I am listening to a deeper way.
Suddenly all my ancestors are behind me.
Be still they say.
Watch and Listen.
You are the result of the love of thousands."

We are love. Dalai Lama once marveled, in a meeting with western psychologists, “we don’t know what self-esteem is. We don’t have that problem.” When we know, in the cells of our being, that we come from love, then we’re free from the measuring of self-esteem and resulting neuroses. Widening our focus, we can feel in the moment the difference between when we’re ‘being good’ because we want something for ourselves; and when we’re simply good. When we’re acting from purity of heart, it is how we can truly improve our lives, and be useful.

The minds of new beginnings is an inclusive mind, it is love in action. And it is how we can bring more harmony into the world, solve problems from a deeper place of presence: feel when you are connected, and when you are disconnected, look into what’s disconnecting you. Can you feel your heart? Can you feel it open and close? Make it a practice to notice what opens and closes your heart, and do your best to keep it open. You don’t need to understand how it happened, just notice it time after time. Not the why or how, which is cause and effect thinking, just the what. That’s the beginning of healing, and healing in this way never stops. In our lives, the medicine wheel keeps turning.

The whole of a mindful life, mindful work practice can be said as “letting go.” Letting go of what? Letting go of want, of desires, expectations, what we think we know. They will be there, part of our ego process. Notice them and don’t attach. Even after enlightenment, there is practice. Each day there are countless chances to let go, to see how it goes this time, and be a new you in the process.

What could happen is much bigger and much more magical than what we want. Each moment of your practice, each time you pause in your busy day, let go of want, and step afresh into your life, beginning again. What is peering from behind those eye holes?

中文翻译

《新的开始——放下并重新开始，一次又一次》作者：刘英昭

2019年快乐！在一年的第一个月，我想谈谈新的开始。作为正念修行者，我们知道这是一种一次又一次更新觉知的修行。当一个人早上醒来睁开眼睛时，有一个瞬间：在所见内容被记录之前，在自我感再次凝聚之前，有一种拥有视觉的感觉……在那个瞬间，可以有一种简单而深刻的拥有这种感官知觉的愉悦，一种对活着的感激。人们可以在冥想中经常体验到这种新的开始，这是一种在当下更新修行的修行，因为失去专注是我们修行的本质。在生活中也是如此——我们会无数次失去立足点，如果我们致力于修行，我们只需一次又一次地重新开始。

此时，全球有很多动荡，许多问题似乎难以解决。我们的个人世界可能显得复杂和混乱。正如爱因斯坦明智地说过，问题无法从创造它的同一意识水平解决。个人和集体，我们如何保持乐观，并能够一次又一次地重新开始？

我很幸运除了佛教修行外还有美洲原住民的修行，那里有仪式、强烈的社区感和基于大地的医药。我想解释美洲原住民的医药轮作为新开始的一个框架……这个框架是四个元素的循环，如四季、四个方向，有趣的是，新开始不是第一阶段而是第三阶段。

稍微详细解释一下——医药轮象征着所有事物的自然进程，包括人类旅程。它从西方开始，那里需要健康和帮助，就像我们在生命开始时一样；顺时针到北方，那里需要勇气和指导来度过青春期的挑战；然后是东方，有新开始，一种更新和重新充满活力，以升起的太阳为象征；最后是南方，有心灵的纯净，以爱和慷慨为特征，我们希望能在老年到达那里。这个循环在宏观和微观层面都发生，一次又一次，并给我们一个比循环每个特定部分的挑战和奖励更大的视角。

美洲原住民的一个关键修行是汗屋，它类似于子宫。在一个接近地面的自然结构中，热石头被带入结构内的坑中，水倒在石头上产生蒸汽。男人和女人在这个仪式中围成一圈坐着，祈祷和唱歌，以被净化并与大灵同在。当一个人从汗屋出来时，感觉就像从子宫中出来，重生。进入露天，神圣的火仍在燃烧，我曾想知道谁或什么从这些眼孔后面窥视。原住民会说，是大灵通过你看。在佛教中我们说佛性，在其他传统中我们说上帝、永恒、宇宙意识等。无论我们用什么词，它都指向一种深刻的连接感、归属感和伟大的新开始。

不久前我生下了我的第一个孩子。在我的怀孕和与宝宝的头几周里，我曾想知道意识从哪里来。许多文化认为婴儿在子宫中的第一次运动是意识或灵魂到来的迹象。尽管现代医学有奇迹，我们不能，也将无法解释意识从哪里来。这是那些智力思维，在其渴望理解和解释时，永远无法达到经验的深度和直接性的事情之一。

想要从智力上理解，需要因果假设。这来自西方思想中的科学方法。因果在那个水平上肯定是真实的，然而，它只是一个特定水平。它是一种必要的焦点缩小。如果我们扩大焦点，它需要一切，一直回到大爆炸，来使每个事物存在。因果不是最终答案。在正念觉知中，你看到思想自行出现，并可以有连锁效应，但思想不来自任何可靠的因。

生活就像一串珠子，除了没有线。当你看向过去，所有时刻、所有珠子的序列，使它看起来好像有一条线，某种连接每个珠子到下一个的东西。然而在这个和每个时刻，一个珠子从空性中出现，并不与空性分离。生活就像那样一刻接一刻地出现。事情从未完全如我们所想的那样发生，对吧？生活总是新的，总是新鲜的。没有预定的珠子在线上，等待我们到达它。

我从我的宝宝那里学到了很多。生命的开始充满了挫折，但宝宝不会失去继续尝试的动力，不会害怕未来的失败。完全活着，他们只是一次又一次地重新开始，对所有可能性开放。这是生命力的行动，这让我想起在我怀孕早期困难时出现的一个洞见：“生活只是一刻一刻地过，一切都来自爱。”我将用一生来活出这个，实现这个。我致力于这样做。

情况发生——例如，工作会议上出现分歧，紧张迅速随之而来——人们似乎陷入僵局。我不知道解决方案可能是什么，但我学会了信任我的行动。我倾身，提供一个建议的开始，或对正在发生的事情的认可，或一些善意。大多数时候，其他人会提供一些东西，当我们相互回应时，小组将开始转变。在一切之中，一种“知晓”到来，不是解决方案，而是一种导航领域的方式。

我在我的美洲原住民修行中看到——有时大型仪式中的每个人都如此连接，以至于他们一致行动，带着如此多的关怀和帮助。每个人都充满感觉，并全力以赴支持他人，即使这种努力对那些受益者不可见……因果消退，只剩下意图：爱。

这些经历帮助我以一种深刻的方式知道什么是可能的。我们经常被教导，明确或隐含地，对他人好，这样他人会对我们好，我们可以收获我们行动的益处。这是因果思维。对另一种看待方式强调不够：我们做好事是因为我们是好的。我们来自爱。这是琳达·霍根，一位美洲原住民作家的短诗：

“行走时我在倾听更深的方式。
突然我所有的祖先都在我身后。
安静他们说。
观看和倾听。
你是成千上万爱的结果。”

我们是爱。达赖喇嘛曾惊叹，在与西方心理学家的会议上，“我们不知道自尊是什么。我们没有那个问题。”当我们知道，在我们存在的细胞中，我们来自爱，那么我们免于自尊的衡量和由此产生的神经症。扩大我们的焦点，我们可以在当下感觉到当我们‘做好事’因为我们想要为自己得到什么时；和当我们只是好时的区别。当我们从心灵的纯净行动时，这是我们如何能真正改善我们的生活，并有用。

新开始的心是一个包容的心，它是行动中的爱。这是我们如何能给世界带来更多和谐，从更深的存在处解决问题：感觉当你连接时，和当你断开连接时，看看什么在断开你。你能感觉到你的心吗？你能感觉到它打开和关闭吗？让它成为一种修行，注意什么打开和关闭你的心，并尽力保持它开放。你不需要理解它是如何发生的，只需一次又一次地注意它。不是为什么或如何，那是因果思维，只是什么。那是疗愈的开始，以这种方式疗愈永不停止。在我们的生活中，医药轮不断转动。

整个正念生活、正念工作修行可以说是“放下”。放下什么？放下想要、欲望、期望、我们认为我们知道的东西。它们会在那里，我们自我过程的一部分。注意它们并不依附。即使在开悟后，也有修行。每天有无数次机会放下，看看这次如何，并在这个过程中成为一个新的你。

可能发生的事情比我们想要的更大、更神奇。你修行的每个时刻，每次你在忙碌的一天中暂停，放下想要，并重新踏入你的生活，重新开始。什么从那些眼孔后面窥视？

文章概要

本文以“新的开始”为主题，结合佛教正念修行和美洲原住民医药轮仪式，探讨如何在中年及人生各阶段实现精神重生。作者刘英昭通过个人经历，如生育孩子和参与汗屋仪式，阐述意识来源、因果思维的局限性，以及“放下”与“重新开始”的修行实践。文章强调从爱出发、保持心灵开放的重要性，并引用达赖喇嘛和原住民诗歌，倡导一种超越自我、连接万物的包容性心态，以应对全球动荡和个人挑战，实现持续的新生与和谐。

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