一行禅师开示中年丧亲之痛：云雨转化无生死

英文原文

Thich Nhat Hanh on coping with the loss of a loved one. Is there a way to deal with the death of a loved one? In particular, how can a mother deal with the loss of a partner and give their children the best possible upbringing? Is there a way to take the gloominess away? Visualize a cloud in the sky. Maybe one part of the cloud has become rain; half of the cloud remains in the same form and half has taken a different one. And you cannot say that the rain is less beautiful than the cloud, or the cloud is less beautiful than the rain. They can both be beautiful. When you live with your beloved one, be aware that he or she is a kind of cloud. You are also a kind of cloud and are not entirely here in this body, because every day you produce thoughts, speech, and action which continue independently of you. So we are like a cloud in the sky: every day it can produce rain or snow or hail. We can see the continuation of the cloud, even if it is still there in the sky. Human beings produce thoughts, speech, and action every day. And that is our continuation. We must meditate in order to see ourselves not only in our bodies, but also outside of them. I can see myself not only in this body; I can see myself in my friends, in my disciples, in my work, in many things. And if you want to recognize me, don’t look in this direction; this body is only a small part of me. So the person that you believe is already lost is not lost; he is still there in other forms. Look for him inside yourself, look for him in your children. That person is still available in the here and now. So when you look at the rain or the tea, if you recognize your cloud there, your sorrow will vanish. You will know that your cloud still exists in new forms, and you can talk to and be with your cloud. That is called signlessness. You are not caught by a particular form. You can recognize your loved one in many other forms. I think it is easy enough to see the father in the children. You can talk to the father through the children, and you can take care of the father by taking care of the children. And not only is he in the children; he is also in you. The fact is that nothing is born, nothing dies. It is impossible for a cloud to die, so it is impossible for anything to die, to become nothing. That is why meditation on death is so helpful: it helps you to see that there is no death. There is no birth and death, there is only transformation. Nothing can be lost. Sometimes your loved one can hide himself or herself and take another form, so that you will know better how to cherish their presence. In the Lotus Sutra, a chapter talks about a doctor with the power to heal. And his children rely on his presence: “We have a father that can heal us, so we don’t need to take medicine, we don’t need to do anything.” The doctor wants to help them, so he goes away and sends word that he has died. And the children cry, and cry, and cry, and begin to drink the medicine and are healed. So the father has to hide himself in order to help his children to take the medicine. Many of us are like that. We don’t cherish the presence of our beloved enough, until we no longer see that familiar form. And we learn. We learn and we heal, and we rediscover our beloved in other forms. The meditation on death is a very important meditation. When you meditate on death, you love life more, you cherish life more. We can learn many lessons from it. Mindfulness allows us to recognize and cherish and treasure what is still available, so that in the future we won’t say, “While the person was alive, I was not aware of their precious presence”. That is why it is so important to go home to the here and now and recognize and cherish the positive elements that are still available. With the practice of mindfulness, you can look deeply and discover the nature of no birth and no death, and find out that nothing can die; that nothing can be lost. Every day I live with my sangha – monastic and lay sangha: monks, nuns, lay practitioners – and I find that my sangha looks exactly like the sangha of the Buddha. They have very much the same problems, the same joy, the same happiness, and the same suffering. And I feel that the Buddha and the sangha of the Buddha is available to me in the here and now. I don’t miss the Buddha or the sangha of the Buddha, because I am able to see the Buddha, and his sangha in my sangha. Because my sangha is first of all the continuations of the Buddha’s sangha. We have the Buddha available. We have the sangha of the Buddha available today. So there is no reason to be sorrowful.

中文翻译

一行禅师关于应对亲人离世的智慧。有没有办法应对亲人的死亡？特别是，一位母亲如何应对伴侣的离世，并给予孩子最好的养育？有没有办法驱散阴霾？想象天空中的一朵云。也许云的一部分变成了雨；一半的云保持原形，另一半则变成了不同的形态。你不能说雨不如云美丽，或云不如雨美丽。它们都可以是美丽的。当你与所爱之人生活在一起时，要意识到他或她就像一朵云。你也是一朵云，并不完全存在于这个身体中，因为你每天产生的思想、言语和行为都会独立于你而延续。所以我们就像天空中的云：每天它可以产生雨、雪或冰雹。我们可以看到云的延续，即使它仍然在天空中。人类每天产生思想、言语和行为。那就是我们的延续。我们必须禅修，以便看到自己不仅在身体内，也在身体外。我不仅能看到自己在这个身体中；我能在我的朋友、我的弟子、我的工作、许多事物中看到自己。如果你想认出我，不要朝这个方向看；这个身体只是我的一小部分。所以你认为已经失去的人并没有失去；他仍然以其他形式存在。在你内心寻找他，在你的孩子中寻找他。那个人在此时此地仍然可得。所以当你看着雨或茶时，如果你在那里认出你的云，你的悲伤就会消失。你会知道你的云仍然以新的形式存在，你可以与你的云交谈并与之同在。这被称为无相。你不会被特定的形式所困。你可以在许多其他形式中认出你所爱的人。我认为在孩子们身上看到父亲是足够容易的。你可以通过孩子们与父亲交谈，你可以通过照顾孩子们来照顾父亲。而且他不仅在孩子们身上；他也在你身上。事实是，没有东西出生，没有东西死亡。一朵云不可能死亡，所以任何东西都不可能死亡，变成虚无。这就是为什么死亡禅修如此有帮助：它帮助你看到没有死亡。没有生与死，只有转化。没有东西会失去。有时你所爱的人可以隐藏自己并采取另一种形式，以便你更好地知道如何珍惜他们的存在。在《法华经》中，有一章讲述了一位有治愈能力的医生。他的孩子们依赖他的存在：“我们有一位可以治愈我们的父亲，所以我们不需要吃药，我们不需要做任何事情。”医生想帮助他们，所以他离开并传话说他已经死了。孩子们哭了，哭了，哭了，然后开始喝药并被治愈。所以父亲必须隐藏自己，以帮助他的孩子们服药。我们许多人都是这样。我们不够珍惜所爱之人的存在，直到我们不再看到那个熟悉的形式。我们学习。我们学习并治愈，我们在其他形式中重新发现我们所爱的人。死亡禅修是非常重要的禅修。当你禅修死亡时，你更爱生命，更珍惜生命。我们可以从中学习许多教训。正念让我们能够认出、珍惜和珍视仍然可得的东西，以便未来我们不会说，“当那个人活着时，我没有意识到他们宝贵的存在”。这就是为什么回到此时此地，认出并珍惜仍然可得的积极元素如此重要。通过正念的修习，你可以深入观察并发现无生无死的本质，并发现没有东西会死亡；没有东西会失去。每天我与我的僧团——出家僧团和在家僧团：比丘、比丘尼、在家修行者——生活在一起，我发现我的僧团看起来完全像佛陀的僧团。他们有非常相同的问题、相同的喜悦、相同的幸福和相同的痛苦。我感到佛陀和佛陀的僧团在此时此地对我可得。我不想念佛陀或佛陀的僧团，因为我能在我的僧团中看到佛陀和他的僧团。因为我的僧团首先是佛陀僧团的延续。我们有佛陀可得。我们今天有佛陀的僧团可得。所以没有理由悲伤。

文章概要

本文基于一行禅师的教导，探讨佛教如何应对中年时期的丧亲之痛。文章以云雨转化的比喻为核心，阐释亲人离世并非真正的消失，而是形式的转化。禅师强调通过正念禅修，人们可以认识到无生无死的本质，在子女、自身及周围事物中重新发现所爱之人的延续。文章还引用《法华经》的寓言，说明失去有时是为了让我们学会珍惜。整体上，这为中年丧亲者提供了一种从悲伤转化为平静与连接的佛教智慧路径。

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