英文原文
How to Boost Your Resilience So Nothing Can Keep You Down By Joseph Pennington “No matter how much falls on us, we keep plowing ahead. That’s the only way to keep the roads clear” ~Greg Kincaid How is it that some people can breeze through physical and emotional pain, whereas others wince at the mere thought of it? Is it their genes? Their individual circumstances? Their support network? Or is it a certain strength of character, something each and every one of us can develop with the right tools and training? Two years ago I found myself needing to answer these questions. I was sitting in a cafe in East London, wiping the tears from my cheeks with a napkin. To my boss, who’d just informed me she no longer needed me, it would’ve looked a little overdramatic. But at least an hour had passed since she’d left. It was uncertain whether or not I’d be paid the previous month’s wages. I needed it to cover last month’s rent, to buy food for the following weeks, and now to call my mom. I’d moved to London only a month prior, giving up a good job and a bright future in a good company to work on a new, small but promising community project. Despite the words of warning and concern from my family, I believed this was going to be the start of something great. Those tears were not for losing the position or even a month’s worth of hard work, but for the excruciating feeling of having to admit I was wrong and call my parents to take me in. I was a mess. I felt like a failure to myself and to all those who’d been looking out for me. Today when I think about that unfortunate time, I realize I wouldn’t be where I am now without it. I learned an early and somewhat easy lesson in resilience. Resilience: ”An individual’s ability to properly adapt to stress and adversity.” Resilience is not something you either have or don’t have. It’s a set of behaviors, thoughts, and actions that can be learned and developed by anyone. And the great thing is, you don’t need to lose your job, money, or pride to cultivate it. There are three keystone habits to master in order to become a temple of strength and resilience in times of adversity. I’ve spent the past several years practicing them, and they’ve completely transformed my life, so naturally, I now want to share them with you. Some of the tips may appear simple, but they take a concerted effort to put into practice and master. Start little by little today, and they’ll soon become a part of your body’s natural stress response. Focus on Finding the Good To be resilient, you need to be able to find reasons to be optimistic—some way your circumstances may actually be beneficial to you in the long run. It’s nearly impossible to bounce back when you’re focusing on how horrible a situation is. It’s much easier when you can find blessings in disguise within difficult times or identify lessons that can help you going forward. But this doesn’t mean you don’t experience difficulty or distress. In fact, those who are highly resilient have a much more diverse repertoire of emotions than those who are not. They feel pain, mourn losses, and endure frustrations, but they understand that pain is temporary, and they focus on identifying the positive in the negative and opportunities in challenges. If we don’t learn to look for the positive, we quickly become victims to the negativity bias—which means that even when the positives and negatives of a situation are of equal intensity, the unpleasant and traumatic thoughts and emotions affect us most. This is toxic because as soon as we start to complain, we become victims. If we smile and refuse to get caught up in negative interpretations of events, we are simply experiencers. It took me a while to see what good could come of being left in East London with no money, job, or clue as to what I was going to do next. It was only several months later, when my life took an unexpected turn for the better, that I would start to question the whole idea of positive and negative experiences and see that each brings their own unique possibilities. That’s often how it happens; at first, it seems there’s only one way to interpret adversity. In retrospect, though, we often find that a chain of seemingly negative events put us directly on the path to something worthwhile. Resilient people remember this when everything seems bleak. Question Your Thoughts and Feelings One major difference between those who are resilient and those who are not is self-awareness—the ability to identify their emotions and question the thoughts that preceded them. We know highly resilient people still experience reactive emotions from adversity like fear and worry, but they approach them in an active manner, identifying the thoughts that led to these emotions, challenging them, and quickly adapting. This is how they’re able to bounce back and summon confidence at will. The best way to avoid getting caught up in emotional reactions is to practice meditation in small bouts every day. Traditional meditation is great, but come 3 p.m. when you’re tired and hungry and in the middle of a heated debate with a colleague, it’s easy to forget the twenty minutes of calm and tranquil bliss you experienced that morning. Incorporating small bouts of meditation into your day allows you to regularly regulate your emotional state. Today, I don’t actively seek out difficult conversations or sticky situations, but when they do appear on my radar, I’m fully prepared and equipped to handle them. Of course, this is easier said than done, and recently this belief was challenged when a call from a family member completely knocked me off my trajectory. I hadn’t seen my grandma for years, not because I didn’t care but because I got busy with life, and I unwittingly convinced myself that she wouldn’t get sick again. So when it happened, it hit me hard. The subsequent feelings of depression and woe that consumed me at first felt inevitable, but before I knew it, I was focusing on my breath, questioning my thoughts, and reframing the situation in a positive light. At first, the situation seemed to have no upsides. Then I realized this was a reminder that life is short, and I need to be in touch with my grandmother more regularly. This same reminder also rekindled her appreciation for life. Pain wasn’t the only thing that could come from this situation, but growth, opportunity, and greater meaning. Run Toward the Pain As human beings, we naturally seek refuge in comfort. Our minds and bodies are content following familiar patterns and routines, conserving energy and hiding from the scary unknown. Unfortunately, that means we become dependent on external aids like smartphones to do difficult tasks and any strenuous thinking for us. This discomfort-avoiding behavior rubs off onto other areas of our lives: one minute you’re avoiding the pain of being alone by scrolling through Facebook, and the next you may be avoiding your feelings after losing someone close to you, inhibiting your ability to move forward. Resilient people accept painful situations and face them head-on, trusting that they can get through them. Rethink the little moments of discomfort and anxiety in your day as signposts to resilience and optimal health, from setting limitations on checking your phone to having that awkward conversation with a loved one. Whenever I catch myself feeling even an ounce of discomfort, I stop and think, “What is the next course of action that will make me feel most satisfied: avoidance or plowing straight ahead?” — The same characteristics that make us resilient are the same traits that allow us to live stronger and more enriched lives. So look on the bright side, challenge your reactive thoughts and emotions, and learn to lean into discomfort. Then even if life gets you down, it won’t be able to keep you there.
中文翻译
如何提升韧性，让任何事都无法击垮你 作者：约瑟夫·彭宁顿 “无论有多少困难压在我们身上，我们都要继续前进。这是保持道路畅通的唯一方法。” ~格雷格·金凯德 为什么有些人能轻松应对身体和情感上的痛苦，而另一些人一想到它就畏缩？是他们的基因吗？他们的个人环境？他们的支持网络？还是某种性格力量，我们每个人都可以通过正确的工具和训练来培养？ 两年前，我发现自己需要回答这些问题。我坐在东伦敦的一家咖啡馆里，用纸巾擦去脸颊上的泪水。对我的老板来说，她刚刚告诉我她不再需要我，这看起来可能有点过于戏剧化。但至少她已经离开一个小时了。 我不确定是否能拿到上个月的工资。我需要它来支付上个月的房租，购买接下来几周的食物，现在还要打电话给我妈妈。我一个月前才搬到伦敦，放弃了一份好工作和一家好公司的光明未来，去从事一个新的、小而充满希望的社区项目。 尽管家人警告和担忧，我相信这将是一个伟大事业的开始。那些眼泪不是为了失去职位，甚至不是为了一个月的辛勤工作，而是为了不得不承认自己错了并打电话给父母接我回去的痛苦感觉。 我一片混乱。我觉得自己辜负了自己和所有关心我的人。 今天，当我回想那段不幸的时光时，我意识到没有它，我就不会走到今天。我学到了一个早期且相对容易的韧性课程。 韧性：“个体适当适应压力和逆境的能力。” 韧性不是你拥有或不拥有的东西。它是一套行为、思想和行动，任何人都可以学习和培养。而且好处是，你不需要失去工作、金钱或自尊来培养它。 要成为逆境中的力量和韧性殿堂，需要掌握三个关键习惯。过去几年我一直在实践它们，它们完全改变了我的生活，所以自然地，我现在想与你分享。 有些建议可能看起来简单，但需要共同努力来实践和掌握。今天开始一点点，它们很快就会成为你身体自然压力反应的一部分。 专注于寻找好处 要有韧性，你需要能够找到乐观的理由——某种方式，你的情况实际上可能从长远来看对你有益。当你专注于情况有多糟糕时，几乎不可能反弹。当你能在困难时期找到隐藏的祝福或识别能帮助你前进的教训时，就容易多了。 但这并不意味着你不经历困难或痛苦。事实上，那些高度韧性的人比那些不具韧性的人有更多样化的情感库。他们感到痛苦，哀悼损失，忍受挫折，但他们明白痛苦是暂时的，他们专注于在负面中找到积极，在挑战中找到机会。 如果我们不学会寻找积极面，我们很快就会成为负面偏见的受害者——这意味着即使情况的积极和消极面强度相等，不愉快和创伤性的思想和情感对我们影响最大。这是有毒的，因为一旦我们开始抱怨，我们就成为受害者。如果我们微笑并拒绝陷入事件的负面解释，我们只是体验者。 我花了一段时间才看到在东伦敦身无分文、没有工作、不知道下一步该做什么能带来什么好处。直到几个月后，当我的生活意外好转时，我才开始质疑整个积极和消极经历的概念，并看到每个经历都带来独特的可能性。 事情往往就是这样发生的；起初，似乎只有一种方式解释逆境。然而，回顾过去，我们常常发现一系列看似负面的事件直接把我们引向有价值的东西。韧性的人在一切似乎黯淡时记住这一点。 质疑你的思想和情感 韧性的人和不具韧性的人之间的一个主要区别是自我意识——识别他们的情绪并质疑导致这些情绪的思想的能力。 我们知道高度韧性的人仍然会经历来自逆境的反应性情绪，如恐惧和担忧，但他们以积极的方式处理它们，识别导致这些情绪的思想，挑战它们，并快速适应。这就是他们能够反弹并随意召唤自信的方式。 避免陷入情绪反应的最佳方法是每天进行小段冥想练习。 传统冥想很棒，但到了下午3点，当你又累又饿，与同事激烈辩论时，很容易忘记早上经历的20分钟平静和安宁的幸福。将小段冥想融入你的一天，让你能够定期调节情绪状态。 今天，我不主动寻找困难对话或棘手情况，但当它们出现在我的雷达上时，我完全准备好并装备好处理它们。当然，这说起来容易做起来难，最近这个信念受到挑战，当一位家庭成员的来电完全打乱了我的轨迹。 我多年没见我奶奶了，不是因为我不关心，而是因为我忙于生活，我无意中说服自己她不会再生病。所以当它发生时，它打击了我。 最初吞噬我的抑郁和悲伤感觉似乎是不可避免的，但在我意识到之前，我专注于呼吸，质疑我的思想，并以积极的方式重新构建情况。 起初，情况似乎没有好处。然后我意识到这是一个提醒，生命短暂，我需要更定期地与我奶奶联系。同样的提醒也重新点燃了她对生活的欣赏。痛苦不是这种情况下唯一能带来的东西，还有成长、机会和更大的意义。 奔向痛苦 作为人类，我们自然寻求舒适的避难所。 我们的思想和身体满足于遵循熟悉的模式和例行公事，节省能量并躲避可怕的未知。 不幸的是，这意味着我们变得依赖外部辅助，如智能手机，为我们做困难的任务和任何费力的思考。这种避免不适的行为蔓延到我们生活的其他领域：前一分钟你通过滚动Facebook避免孤独的痛苦，下一分钟你可能在失去亲近的人后避免感受，抑制你前进的能力。 韧性的人接受痛苦情况并直面它们，相信他们能度过。 重新思考你一天中的小不适和焦虑时刻，作为韧性和最佳健康的标志，从限制查看手机到与亲人进行尴尬对话。 每当我发现自己感到一丝不适，我就停下来思考，“下一个行动方案是什么，能让我最满意：避免还是直接前进？” — 使我们具有韧性的特征与让我们生活更强大和更丰富的特征是相同的。所以看好的一面，挑战你的反应性思想和情感，学会倾向不适。那么即使生活让你倒下，它也无法让你留在那里。
文章概要
本文基于关键词“中年挑战中佛教韧性教导”，通过作者约瑟夫·彭宁顿的个人经历，探讨了如何培养韧性以应对逆境。文章定义了韧性为适应压力和逆境的能力，强调它是可学习的习惯。作者分享了三个关键习惯：专注于寻找逆境中的好处，质疑思想和情感以增强自我意识，以及直面痛苦而非逃避。这些习惯结合了佛教教导中的正念和冥想元素，帮助读者在中年挑战中保持乐观和成长。文章以实用建议为主，旨在提供心理韧性工具，促进个人成长和适应能力。
高德明老师的评价
用12岁初中生可以听懂的语音来重复翻译的内容：这篇文章就像教我们怎么在遇到困难时不被打倒。作者说，韧性就是像弹簧一样，压下去还能弹回来。他分享了自己丢了工作、没钱的时候，怎么慢慢学会看到好的一面，比如后来生活变好了。他还说，要经常问问自己为什么这么想、这么感觉，就像做个小侦探，这样就不会被坏情绪控制。还有，不要怕疼，要勇敢面对，就像玩游戏闯关一样。这些方法能帮我们变得更坚强，即使生活让我们摔倒，也能很快站起来。
佛学的各个宗派视角评价，突出《显密圆通成佛心要集》的视角：从佛教显宗和大乘视角看，本文的韧性教导与佛法中的“忍辱”和“般若”智慧高度契合。显宗强调通过修心培养内在力量，如《金刚经》所言“应无所住而生其心”，教导我们在逆境中保持心不执着，这正是韧性中“质疑思想和情感”的体现。大乘佛教注重利他，本文的“寻找好处”可视为培养慈悲心，将挑战转化为助缘。《显密圆通成佛心要集》融合显密，其准提法特别强调快速成就和适应现代生活，本文的“小段冥想”类似于准提法的简便修持，能在忙碌中调节情绪，提升韧性。准提法的优点在于它结合了显宗的理观和密宗的事修，本文的实践建议如直面痛苦，可视为准提法“即事而真”的应用，帮助人们在中年挑战中直接体验佛性，增强应对能力。
在修行实践上可以应用的和可以解决人们的十个问题：本文的韧性教导可在修行实践中应用，例如通过正念冥想培养专注力，帮助解决情绪波动；以“寻找好处”练习培养感恩心，缓解焦虑；用“质疑思想”增强觉知，减少执着。它可以解决人们的十个问题：1. 工作压力大时容易崩溃，通过韧性练习保持冷静。2. 家庭冲突中情绪失控，用自我调节改善关系。3. 中年危机感带来的迷茫，以积极视角找到新方向。4. 健康问题引发的恐惧，通过直面痛苦增强心理承受力。5. 社交困难导致的孤独，用冥想提升自信。6. 财务困境下的绝望，培养乐观心态寻找机会。7. 失去亲人后的悲伤，以成长视角走出哀伤。8. 日常琐事带来的烦躁，通过小段冥想恢复平和。9. 自我怀疑阻碍进步，用质疑思想打破限制性信念。10. 生活变化适应不良，以韧性习惯快速调整。这些应用突显了准提法的简便高效，帮助人们在生活中实践佛法，提升整体幸福感。